Happiness is as expensive as your favorite trendy car displayed in the car shop. You want to have it but can’t hell afford it.

Money can’t buy happiness. Well, I beg to disagree. It can buy happiness. If you want a new pair of shoes, you buy it probably because you want to make yourself happy. You wanna have some ice cream, you buy it and satisfy the cravings. Those simple acts are proof that money indeed could buy happiness.
Simple scenarios in life that convinced us, that to make a life you must have a cash on your pocket, thousands on your wallet and numerous digits on you bank account, however its not like that, life never worked out like that and it never will because money can only afford temporary happiness not the real one nor the genuine one. And real happiness is as expensive as your favorite trendy car displayed in the car shop. You want to have it but can’t hell afford it.

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You’re Not Lost.

People tried to manipulate your mind, your heart or worse your whole being. They tried to make you feel that everything wasn’t fine and all the things that you do isn’t right.

But what really is right? Is it when they say you’ll be more successful if you chose to be an educator instead of a nurse? or you’ll be more useful to the society if you took up Law courses instead of midwifery? Can people’s limited brain cells handle it if you explain to them the things they see wrong? Can they handle it if you prove them wrong?

Sometimes we think if what everybody says about us, our career, our pursuits, our life are exactly right. If we really are wrong or taking the wrong path. Their words without our control takes over our being. They take over our life and tried to dictate us what to do. But remember my friend you are the captain of your own ship. You, dictates you and you alone.

Never let other people tell you what to do. Never be affected by what they say, because if you follow your heart and you’re happy with what you’re doing then that’s success. That means you’re doing what is right, you’re doing what makes you happy and you’re choosing something that you know could help you grow as a person.

If you feel that everyone was judging you, that all else was against you, dont worry for they dont know you. They dont know your story. They only know that you dream big. If they judge you, and laugh at you about dreaming such dreams, just smile back at them and be kind because whatever they say or do when you reach the top they would still blend in with the crowd clapping at you for you did great. And you never know, you’ll be someday an inspiration to them.

So be kind and be patient, you’re on the right track my friend you’re not lost.

Just Maybe

Maybe now I still don’t know what things I am good at.

Maybe now I still couldn’t figure out why I lived.

Maybe now I don’t know where this path Im taking ends.

Maybe I have no idea why the world is round or why and how the earth rotates,

Maybe I don’t do things perfectly as expected

Maybe now I still don’t know the reason of my existence but one thing is for sure I love the idea of living itself.

Living with a lot of maybes’ in life can be suffocating at times but remembering that everything’s going to have a perfect sense at the end is what keeps me loving life even more.

Curiosity is what makes life interesting for it makes you jump into the unknown and discover something about the world and yourself. Taking the path that scares you and doing things that you’re not used to.

Life is exciting and interesting. So live it to the fullest, you never know what tomorrow has in store for you.

Dream

Like those typical youngsters of today, I also dreamed of becoming a total star. Like Mandy Moore and other different hollywood and local idols of this generation.

In a very clear night and the silence was too deafening I felt like its too noisy. Like someone was arguing, somebody was laughing at me and telling me I cant make it and that I have the most cheapest dream. However in the midst of those chaotic noise I could still hear Gods whisper. Hes telling me that my dreams are not for them to rate, that my dreams are the most expensive dream an ordinary person can avail. It actually made me happy. Happy because I feel like I have someone to walk with me through this venture of reality. And thankful as well for I know that the one walking with me will never leave me during hard times and that he will always walk with me till the very end of this so called expedition of life.

Never let others define your dreams for you because at the end of the day, its your dreams and yours alone. Someone may dream it with you but no one can dream it for you.

My How’s in life

How can I move on?

How will I accept that they’re not here anymore?

How will I convince myself to be happy, seriously happy inside when I know that I missed them everyday?

How can I live my dreams when in the very first place they are the reason why I have such dreams?

I always feel sad and down whenever I hear my friends talking about how nice and rude their parents are. How they bully their mom and dad (sweet bully) and how they just laugh whenever they are being scolded by them. I just missed those things.

I want to experience it again.

I want to have a mother again.

I want to have a father again.

But How? I cant just buy a mother in the supermarket or online shop a father on Lazada, but if ever I could, I wouldn’t buy one either because mine is unique and they belong to the limited edition of Gods creation.

I pretended to be fine all the time. I pretended to be someone who is jolly and funny but truly deep down inside I was drowning, wreck and broken. Emptiness is actually killing me. And I have no idea how to fill that emptiness I feel.

I just dont know how.

I don’t want her to leave.

Can’t it be anybody else? Why her?

Can’t your leaving be just a dream? Cause if so I would wake up ASAP.

People come. People go. And for me that is a constant thing aside from change.

I met someone who’s very me. I think I just found a replica of me. She knows how to talk and listen. She caught me with her self confidence . She is someone whom I could consider a friend. And technically speaking, finding a real and true friend is as hard as finding your true love.

Talking about life every working days, chatting and talking about other people, laughing,eating (though I don’t eat that much) and going home together is our kind of bonding. Speaking hangul is also the best thing about our friendship. We understand each other using a foreign language which is not intentional. It just happened.

Now I’m writing this on my blog simply because I don’t want her to leave. But since I dont have even a single right to stop her from leaving, I’ll just send her off with this letter. I know she also loved the idea about her being deployed to another airport. It is an opportunity though. That’s why even if its sad like hell I have no other choice but to be happy for her.

Chinguya,

Hope you find good friends there. Someone who wont take your goodness for granted and someone who won’t take you for granted. Be well out there. I’ll pray for you if I have time (ㅎㅎㅎ). Know that I’m sad because you’re leaving. And you know very well that I dont want you to be away, I may sound selfish but its true. I will miss you chingu. Thank you for being a friend and I will always thank God for introducing you to me. Being your friend is no waste of time. You are worth knowing.

Haven’t I tell you that I could see myself from you. How you hide your feelings and how you pretended to be fine even if you’re not. Thank you for being so strong. Amongst my friends I know that you understand me so well for the path that we’re taking are not exactly but almost the same.

Take care my friend. Find happiness in this chaotic world. Be a blessing to others too. Find your true love out there but don’t lose yourself in the process.

Saranghamnida Chinguya.

Mess

I now realize why you left me. Now I know why God let you out of my life.

By the time you told me ” Im so done with you” my world crashed like a cement wall. My heart was being pierced with a flaming arrow. The pain, I thought was unbearable but as time heal all the wounds and forgiveness and acceptance introduces me to peace, my broken pieces are now slowly getting back to whole.

After all the cryings and sorrows, life rewarded me with great things. Things I never expected to come and things I never expected to experience. And all those things happened when you were out of my life. When you were away from me good thing begins to pour. Before I questioned God “Why. Why. Why. Why did you take him away from me? Why did you let this things happened to me? WHY ME?” but now I say “Thank you for taking him away from me. Thank you for saving me from being broken. Thank you for letting it happen to me, because if it wasn’t for you my life wouldn’t be this great. If it wasnt for you maybe until now Im still living with confusion and still dealing with mess.

Sometimes you just have to stop asking God why. You just have to believe in him and his way. Know that God is perfect, he doesn’t make any mistakes. So if you’re suffering right now, it wasn’t a mess or a mistake. It was part of his plans.